diamond engagement rings question?

Monday, May 28th, 2007 | Weddings

diamond engagement rings
Anthony asked:


Ok so i’m completely lost. I really want to ask my girlfriend to marry me but I dont have a ring. I was about to buy a diamond ring but after watching the movie blood diamond i changed my mind. i personally think diamonds are too expensive and too much blood is being shed because of them. Will my girlfriend be dissapointed if she does not get a diamond? any advice? thanks

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29 Comments to diamond engagement rings question?

Coolio A
May 30, 2007

of course not!! and hey, blood diamond totally changed my views on diamonds too…lol…but girls like all kinds of stones.

shawnzmojo102
June 1, 2007

Ask the Jewler about where the diamonds come from. When I got my fiance’s ring, I was told that the stones came from either Austrailia or from Russia.

Polar Bear diamonds are a good idea… they come from canada, are fair trade, and are individually identified. They cost a bit more, though.

Good luck!

nml
June 2, 2007

There are diamonds that are not bought from blood and there are cheep ones too. Diamonds go by carrots as does the gold. Go to jewelry shops (Kay’s, Zales) and take a look around and go by what you think would be perfect and within your price range.

Tiss
June 5, 2007

She may not act disappointed, but most girls want a diamond. Like the other poster said, you can get diamonds from other places. Do a little research.

Mathie
June 6, 2007

My fiance got me a sapphire which I love. I never liked diamonds and he knew that. The only thing they might be good for is to have tiny diamonds as accents to make it sparkle more but even that isn’t necessary. I told him I wanted a ring that reminded me of him. He has blue eyes and sapphire is his birthstone. It’s a very unique ring and I love it. Consider getting her something in her favorite color. Make sure you’ve talked about marriage first. Otherwise it could really catch her off guard. She could give you an idea of what kind of gem she’d like if you ask for a general idea. That way you can still pick out something. It’s a lot more important to talk about marriage than the ring though.

loki_only1
June 9, 2007

Keep in mind, the movie Blood Diamond was from the year 1996, before stricter regulations on diamond cataloging, importing, and collecting were laid down. Do these practices still go one, yes they do. Are they as common place as they were a decade ago?? Not by far! Many retailers actually have a clause or a sign that states they do not support the blood diamond trade, and will actually tell you which country your diamond came from. Such providers as Mervis and DeBeer’s actually have their own mines, used exclusively for their stores. Dont let a movie scare you off, just be an educated consumer.

But to answer your question, any women should be appreciative to a gestrue of commitment. Not matter how larger, small, or colorful the stone is. (meaning, its ok to get something other than a diamond - just dont get a CZ, makes it look like you were tryin to fool her)

KDgirl
June 10, 2007

Unless you know for a fact that your significant other has the same passionate feelings about the blood shed over diamonds as you I wouldn’t risk it. Most women obsess over what their ring is going to look like and how beautiful the diamond will sparkle. I would bring up the topic in an unrelated subject matter to engagement and see her feelings on it before risking dissapointing one of the greatest moments of her life. Hope it works out for you though and congrats for getting ready to take the next step!

Mina
June 13, 2007

if you go to a privately owned jewelery store, not a chain, somewhere you can talk to the owner, they often go and buy the diamonds, and only buy diamonds that have papers, and can be traced to their origin, NON-CONFLICT diamonds. its a win-win situation, your girlfriend gets a diamond, you are not supporting blood diamonds and helping give non-conflict diamonds a competitive chance against cheaper blood diamonds. the stone itself will cost more but probably be of better quality. you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are one less person to contribute to the heart-wrenching conflict caused by some diamond mining companies. Not all diamonds are bad, and every girl wants a diamond ring, and you do have options.

RowerGirl
June 16, 2007

I agree with you. I’ve never liked diamonds because of the “blood diamond” issue that’s now in the media, and also because of the inflated cost. (There’s a perception that they’re “rare” and the price gets hiked up, no matter where they’re from.) So I don’t want a diamond for my engagement ring.

There’s no way for us to tell you if your gf would be disappointed without a diamond. Only she can tell you that! I have friends who would definitely only want a diamond engagement ring. Why don’t you watch the movie with her and see what her views are?

But in the end, an engagement ring is only as strong as the sentiment behind it. What I mean is, even a candy machine ring could be an engagement ring if you say it is and propose to her with it! It doesn’t need to be a diamond at all.

angeljones200
June 16, 2007

Buy the diamond.

curious gal
June 18, 2007

This is a question to ask your girlfriend. If she really wants a diamond, then you should consider it as an option. Many other places in the world produce diamonds that are not ‘conflict diamonds’. The US do not import conflict diamonds and the sale of these diamonds are illegal. I suggest that you find a reputable jeweler and confirm where the diamond came from before you buy.

I agree that diamonds are expensive. They are, after all, a piece of coal! But most girls like to show off a diamond engagement ring. With that said, if your girlfriend doesn’t care whether she receives a diamond engagement ring or not, then buy her a white sapphire ring. It won’t have the same ‘fire’ as a diamond, but they sure look like diamonds!

byebrn7
June 18, 2007

Ask for a “Green” dimond. They cost more but they are way more worth every cent. No one was harmed in getting those.

Dawn M
June 20, 2007

Depends on her social awareness and commitment to the issue.

Consider this: figure out a really romantic way to ask her to marry you…like a scavenger hunt to all of the great places that you have been together, with romantic notes and a rose at each stop. When she finally gets to you, at the place where you first met–ask in the traditional way, minus the ring.

Then you can discuss your concerns about the ring with her and make the decision together!

MMM
June 23, 2007

The only way to know for sure is to ask her–most girls expect a diamond no matter what. I got a large sapphire ring as an engagement ring from my ex-husband and though I loved the ring and appreciated the originality of the choice (it was the 80’s and not in vogue to give colored stones then), I secretly wanted a diamond and would have preferred one–even if it was a smaller less-expensive one.

Don’t forget that she has to wear it on her finger forever and be prepared for comments from all lookers forever. FOREVER (or at least as long as the marriage lasts). It may seem like an expensive investment right now for you, but over the course of a long marriage, the price seems more reasonable.

If you have serious objections politically against diamonds, you should discuss this with her and what alternatives are acceptable to her. Best not to have misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or even a rejection from someone you love–would you really want her to wear your gift and forever look at it wishing it was a diamond–or do you want her to look at it and think of you?

Honesty is the best policy. I would rather not marry my current partner (even though we have a child together) than to accept less than what I feel I deserve at this point in my life–I am a high-earning, loving, and respectable partner who has raised his other two sons for the last 5 years in addition to our 2 yr old–I want the diamond and what it represents: a firm and binding contract to grow old with me, share the highs and lows of life, and traditional marriage values. And he knows it! Lucky for him, I really love him and am willing to wait for that committment.

Last note. There are many diamond vendors in the world and you can, for a price, choose diamonds from locations that are less brutal in the mining and processing of their gemstones. Just do your research and be prepared to spend more for a politically correct diamond. Your personal boycott of the diamond trade is not going to halt or even slow down the worldwide and centuries-old lust for gemstones–be realistic.

You can also choose a vintage (used or recycled) diamond that is more removed from the practices you so dislike–it is the “greener” choice.

SimplyLovely
June 24, 2007

I know I am answering this question late, but a diamond, is a diamnd, is a diamond and there is no replacement as far as I am concerned.

giggles
June 25, 2007

Diamonds are a girls best friend.
Every girl knows that song from the time she is 5 or 6. Our Daddys sing it to us.
She might be sad if she does not get a diamond b/c there is only one time in your life when you get a diamond.

Can you see that I am bitter 11 years later that I did not get a diamond? I am bitter every time someone shows off an engagement ring. At least he could have gotten me a piece of clear glass that looked like a diamond, but No he got me a claddagh ring.

Lorie B
June 26, 2007

I totally agree. I look differently on diamonds now. Horrible things. You can still get her a diamond ring. Just make sure it;s through fair trade. Do alot of research. Good luck

Freke
June 27, 2007

I suggest you check out this website:

My boyfriend is 100% against buying any diamonds unless they are man-made. This is handy for us because I don’t like diamonds all that much (my birthstone is a diamond) and I’ll get a huge one from my mom some day. So he’s going to get me a blue topaz because they are my favorite.

Regardless, you need to get her feelings on this issue. She’s the one who will have to wear it.

I would not be disappointed if I was not given a diamond, but I’m not like your typical girl.

If she wants the look of the diamond, I suggest a white topaz or a white sapphire.

White topaz:~oseg=CARAT^freeText~WHITE%20TOPAZ^prodPage~15^page~SEARCH+NAV^uan0~Source^uav0~Canned^uan1~Offer^uav1~CARAT

Natural Sapphires of random colors.

valerino539
June 27, 2007

Wow, I just watched that movie recently and the thought of flushing all my diamonds down the toilet seriously crossed my mind. However… my now husband gave me those rings and they mean a lot to me, plus, we did not know the truth before. I can understand your position, but you may want to ask her (or have someone else ask her) what she thinks about it. If you decide to go with another stone, consider something like these:

If you do opt for the “simulated diamond” make sure she KNOWS - the last thing you need is her thinking you were trying to be cheap and trick her! Good luck!

Ms. X
June 27, 2007

I suggest doing what my fiance did: He proposed with an inexpensive placeholder ring. Then we picked out an engagement ring together. This way I had the surprise factor of a proposal, yet have a ring I love wearing.

Re. blood diamonds, it’s a lot easier to find a non-blood diamond now than when the movie was filmed. But you and your gf can consider stones other than diamonds. I love my 2-carot moissanite ring, which everyone thinks is a diamond.

Ameena
June 27, 2007

Depends on the girl. If she loves you for you, and isn’t completely materialistic, she’ll like any ring you get her. I also am not a big fan of diamonds, mostly cuz I think they’re plain (and also all the conflict…although you can buy conflict-free diamonds). I asked my fiance to get me a prettier stone like amethyst or opal (the latter is my birthstone). My engagement ring is diamond, but its a family heirloom, which makes it awesomer.

You could always go to cz, if she wants to have something diamond-like. No one but you two have to know, so she can still show it off, if that’s something she’s into.

Find out what sort of stones she likes. Or use her favorite color in the stone you choose.

If she loves you, she’ll be happy you proposed and that you guys will be married. Have faith in the emotions, not in the diamond.

pspoptart
June 27, 2007

It really depends on the girl. I would have been dissapointed if I HAD gotten a diamond since I much prefer gemstones.

You can find out her prefrences through some covert tactics. If you take her to a jewlery store “just to look around” trust me she’s going to catch on. Instead say something like “this guy at work is proposing to his girlfriend. He keeps talking about how he’s going to do it in public with this ruby ring (or whatever). I think that’s kinda dumb/great….” and she will normally respond with her opinion.

You can get diamonds from Canda and as long as the diamond has it’s paperwork you can rest easy that it’s conflict free. You can also look into something like white sapphire that looks like diamond but is still valuable. You need to check with her before choosing a faux stone like moisanitte or CZ.

weirdiscomplimentary
June 29, 2007

Find out!

Tell her that you just watched the movie and tell her what it was about. Then say something like, “I just can’t imagine what people go through for just a little sparkle…I’d never wear diamonds after seeing that movie. What do you think?”

Engage her in a discussion. If she responds by saying, “Yeah, they are overrated anyway,” or “Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of bad things. Honestly, I like them but not THAT much…” then you know she’ll be okay with you buying her a ring with a different stone.

If she says, “Well, they have problems, but not all diamonds are blood diamonds…there are conflict-free diamonds from Canada…and of course there are antique diamonds that were mined a long time ago and wouldn’t be supporting the current practices of the diamond trade….” then you know she’s thoughtful and enlightened — and is invested enough in the idea of diamonds that she’s done her research!

Moissanite is a good alternative — it looks almost exactly like a diamond — some say it’s prettier! — and is man-made.

My thoughts
June 29, 2007

Many stores are now selling conflict-free diamonds. These are certified as not coming from those places in Africa. Canadian diamonds are a good choice.

I’ve never quite gotten the idea of a fellow showing up with a ring for his gal. For me, a ring should be purchased together. She should have a say in the ring she wears for the next lots of years.

CBT Princess
June 30, 2007

Buy a different stone then - lots of other gemstones can be used as a substitute for an engagement ring. There’s lots of stones from all over the world - or look at Moissante.

dietitian4u
July 1, 2007

most ladies do want a ring of some sort.. Personally I would look at the color/colors in her eyes.. and see if you can find a gem stone to match. For example… If her eyes are a bright blue.. think about getting a blue topaz.. if her eyes are green.. think about an emerald etc. What does she like? simple, elaborate settings? does she prefer white/yellow gold/platinum? I would be a little sneaky and look in her jewelry box and see what the most dominant metal.. and then start from there. Good Luck.

sparkleythings_4you
July 3, 2007

some girls would be, but who wants to marry a girl that is so materialistic that a diamond means more to her than a genuine honest and heart felt proposal. I could not care less for diamonds, the proposal was all that mattered to me.

Lydia
July 4, 2007

You need just to do more research, there are LOTS of diamonds available which aren’t conflict diamonds -
However, there isn’t anything wrong with an engagement ring with a CZ or any other gemstone.

InFlames
July 5, 2007

Today, 99% of the world’s diamond supply is certified to be from sources that are free from conflict.
Build your own engagement ring from one of this store

Engagement rings need not always contain diamonds. Popular trends include using gemstones as sidestones as well as other precious stones.

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