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not just marriages. everything has become too commercialized. in today’s world, if it’s not on tv, it doesn’t exist.

It’s meant to be a once in a lifetime event. Some people want a giant fancy affair and others want a small intimate party. I guess we should ban Disney movies also because I’ve dreamed of a princess wedding since I was about 5, I doubt DeBeers was brainwashing me by then. I guess I’m wondering why you care what other people do? Does it really affect you if someone in your opinion overspends on their wedding? Would you go up to couples on a cruise ship and grill them about their finances to see if they should be taking a vacation?

I agree. Too many people put so much effort and thought and time into planning a wedding. How many people put that much effort into the marriage.
We are having a small wedding with the basic things needed, and we still think it’s too expensive. We worry about what people will think, but we know that the day is about us and starting our lives together, not impressing people we probably will never see again.

Very true.Its worse then what happened to Xmas .
I was brought up to believe in small weddings with a practical large single gift from family and friends afterwards.
Usually in my family its a car but one of my cousins actually got a 25% downpayment on a $200k house.
But alas it looks like it will not happen to me .My fiancee is crying for a large wedding and i mean LARGE despite I will only get 50 guests and they want half of it paid for and a nice honeymoon.
This will virtually bankrupt and make me run to my family and guess what they will give reluctantly but ican kiss that car goodbye.
She says its her childhood fantasy and yes she is not even thinking of the day after the wedding at all it seems.
Very sad and commerical start to a marriage if you ask me.
If she thought even half about how our life will be after the wedding as she does for the wedding then I will be in cloud 9.
But its the same old “once in a lifetime” thing.Dreams that make nightmares afterwards are called bad dreams.
If I acted on all my dreams I probably be dead by now since it involves swimming with great whites and climbing mountains!

I think it depends on the couple… I know when I got engaged, it was because I wanted to be MARRIED, not just to have a wedding.

Yes, definitely a valid point.

The day matters more than what may come after it. I don’t think couples think enough about the concept of marriage and the possibility of spending the rest of their lives with each other. I’d want a simple wedding, which keeps the important things at the forefront and leaves the other crap under the surface. It’s not important, but there’s too much hype behind marriage that the REALLY important values of marriage are forgotten just so that they can have a really expensive day.

We don’t have the advertising here that you’ve described at all. While yes, there are vendors that make a living off of weddings and other celebrations/parties, they don’t advertise here. It’s more a word of mouth or wedding shows kind of thing. The same thing happened with Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas is disappearing. Especially for the younger brides and grooms, it’s all about the wedding and reception. Few people in the younger generations stop to think about the marriage. That’s why there are so many divorces.

I think you are right.. and yes I am planning my wedding as we speak.. Less than 6 weeks to go.. Sad I am nervous about people will think it will blow.. I am having all friends and family there. No traditional wedding dress.. No traditional wedding cake.. Nothing really traditional Including No diamond… No we are not cheap.. I choose to spend Our money on our kids instead of One day in our lives.. Our marriage and our family is more important than a dress that i will leave in my closet untill i get sick of it being in the way and donate it to goodwill..So yes totally agree with you if they spent more time and money in their marriage and not on the wedding it would go smoother.. Plus who wants to start their life together in DEBT….

Yes, absolutely. It’s all about the party and the “show”, and the actual wedding ceremony is just something you have to do before you get to the “main event”.

I work at a reception hall, and it’s my business to sell the facility and it’s amenities, but it’s very frustrating when we deal with brides and their parents who are more concerned about “the perfect day”, and there seems to be so little focus on the purpose of the wedding day.

The reception is intended as a thank you for your guests, and an opportunity to celebrate the joining of 2 families. Nothing makes me madder than when people say “it’s your day, do what you want”. The wedding CEREMONY is about YOU; the wedding RECEPTION is about your GUESTS. I know weddings cost a lot, but when you add up what it costs for all of your guests to attend, combined, they probably spent more, especially if they came from out of town.

The majority of the people I work with are getting married for all the right reasons, and we’ve had some very touching events take place, so I’m not completely embittered. But we do have the occassional “bridezilla” who thinks the entire day should be about her and her princess fairy tale wedding.

for sure!

Im planning my wedding right now, and Im overwhelmed by some of the things people do. Not only do they have engagement parties, but they have wedding showers, batchelor/ette parties, rehersal dinners, the actual wedding and a brunch the day after! I mean really, how many times do people need to celebrate the same couple getting married?!?

We are having a Halloween wedding. We are going to have a very low-key rehearsal dinner and the wedding and thats it. Our batchelor/ette party we are going to do together. I dont need a wedding shower and all that. Its just too much.

Our budget is about 8,000. And even that seems like too much to me. Whats the point in going into debt before your even married? Your just starting your marriage with problems. Who needs that? We would rather use the money to put a down payment on a house. We arent hiring a wedding planner or anything either. Im doing it all myself, so it will have our touch. Not somebody elses.

We got my engagement ring for $900 during a sale after Christmas. It was originally a $3000 ring. I would have killed him if he spent that much.

So, yea, I think people go way overboard with the wedding thing. I see on Brides.com people talk about there budget being in around $30,000. Even if I had that much money to spend I dont think I could justify spending that much on one day when there are people living on the streets who could use that money for a better purpose. But thats just my opinion.

I don’t consider a penny of the money we spent for our wedding to have been wasted. Our family is really important to us, and spending our money to celebrate what I consider to be the single most important day of my adult life is money well spent. If someone wishes to have a courthouse wedding, great for them. We chose to have a destination wedding and spend our money flying our family to the islands for 4 days of fun! We work and can well afford the $15K we spent for the most wonderful trip I can ever imagine, and we’re already planning on having a big family trip again in the next few years. Everyone there (33 in all) thanked us profusely for giving them the experience, and there’s no way to put a price on great times spent together as a family. It was wonderful to spend so much time together–our 2 families really had the chance to get to know one another, and lots of friendships were made–anyone who thinks our wedding was a waste doesn’t matter to me because those we love appreciated what we did, and more importantly, we think our wedding was perfect.

Many people do. I have family who work in the wedding business, so I’m glad it exists, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford to go to college. But I don’t think that brides are being brainwashed by commercialism altogether.

Girls play being the bride since they were old enough to understand what a wedding meant. They pick their favorite Disney prince, wrapped a sheet around their head, put on a dress and their mum’s high heels, and told their parents they were getting married to Prince _______ on Sunday.

Many women don’t grow out of that. They want the flowers, the dress that makes them look better than all the other women around them, the attention, the gifts, the fancy food… It’s a personal choice. Some GUYS want big weddings, because that’s what their family is use to. If I was a wedding planner, I wouldn’t say “No, I won’t do your wedding because 175k is too much.” I’d smile, make pretty, and try to save money on what I could. It’s their choice. It’s the wrong one, but it’s still the person’s choice.

I want a small wedding with less than 70 people on a 5k budget. It’s not that unreasonable. People would even say, why bother? Just elope or skip the honeymoon to save money. But I do think that day should be celebrated in a special way. It’s not a birthday that comes every year, or an annual family reunion. But don’t blow your money on something that lasts 7 hours. It’s unwise.

P.S. Yes, I meant 175k above. My cousin’s company caters to the rich folks in town. That’s a house, a new car, and college money for your first kid, sheesh.

it frustrates me that weddings planning and favors and invitations and traditions and everything has gotten so commercial that its hard to make a wedding unique. I have been to so many weddings that were thought as “personalized” and “unique” when really everything was bought from the same catalog as the next bride.

i’m really excited about the things my family and my fiance and i have planned for my wedding- we are doing this somewhat traditionally but all in all we are doing it our way. a lot of things that we’re doing we have gotten funny looks at ((not having dinner, having it outdoors with no tent, not having cake, having a bonfire and fondue…)) but a lot of people who have gotten married said that they wish they would have done it their own way as well.

Its just so important to do it YOUR WAY for YOUR WEDDING. by “your” i mean the bride AND the groom. for instance my groom will be riding up to the ceremony on a boat, something that all the guys will enjoy.

its getting harder and harder to do this with all the commercialized wedding companies out there now. they throw in your face that your guests need this and your guests need that and you HAVE to have the perfect everything, instead of just letting you do what you want. YOU know your guests better than magazines and web sites.

Totally waste of money.
If you look at people who answered all the men say its too comerical and wasteful
About 50% of girls say its too commerical and other say no(some more subtle about the expenses).
But intrestingly enough the 50% who seems to think its their day say they decided on it(meaning him and her).
But I have spoken to many guys who got big weddings and all were bullied into it.
And strangely enough their wives say same thing - we decided to have this big wedding .HAHA!
One guy at a party got annoyed when his wife kept saying how great this big expensive wedding WE made was and said “You wanted.I wanted a house payment!”.
She went all mad about how they should be unified in their choice.Right!
Thank god there are 50% women still reasonable about the future of the marriage and want all effort into the marriage not the ceremony.

Yes, it has all gotten very commercialized, but I have to say, to each his own.

I do agree that newlyweds should think twice before indebting themselves beyond what they can handle. Being newly married is stressful enough. Being older and financially stable/capable is a different story, priorities are different for every couple. If they can afford it and it means a lot to them, why not?

Now, I love big beautiful engagement rings, just because they are beautiful. I’ve never had one, but I still love them. If I were to get one I might choose a different but just as beautiful stone though.

My first marriage was at the justice of the peace, I really didn’t want to deal with planning a big wedding. If I were to re-marry it would probably be a destination wedding, which might include only my husband and I. (Perhaps our children too, or other family we decide we really want there)

Just my thoughts, best of luck to you.